Couples Therapy: From Me to We
Why is it so hard to fight cleanly in the midst of an argument with the person we are supposed to love most, particularly when we already know tools and techniques for kinder conflict resolution? Why do we choose to punish our partners rather than play fair? It’s...
The Problem with Charisma
You’ve experienced them. The attractive person in front of you at the coffee shop who smiles at you and makes some witty comment, and all of a sudden you feel intensely drawn to this stranger and start desperately plotting ways to sit down next to them and carry on...
slow and dirty.
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/10/slow-and-dirty-an-almost-all-encompassing-guide-to-navigating-lifes-challenges/
Conflict Revolution
On a physiological level, the human body is wired to respond immediately to conflict as if it was life threatening. Within moments, the body releases the “stress hormones”, adrenaline and cortisol, which allow for increased speed, hyper-vigilance, and the ability to...
Mental Health in an Age of Insanity
Dictionary.com defines mental health as the psychological "well-being and satisfactory adjustment to society and to the ordinary demands of life". Satisfactory adjustment to society and the ordinary demands of life. The day after Trump was elected, I sat in my office...
Freedom to Choose: Responsibility as Developmental Privilege
We often think about responsibility as something heavy; a burden we know we ought to bear because, "it’s the right thing to do". We also seem to set responsibility up as the opposite of freedom; "I wish I could drop everything and fly off to Mexico with you, but I...
Dismantle Your Happiness Fantasy
One of the most common causes of suffering that I witness as a psychotherapist is the belief that life is supposed to be easy, and that people are supposed to be happy most of the time. When life is hard, or people experience themselves as more identified with feeling...